6/25/2014

Cool kids, honestly

I keep saying I'm going to come forth with more of my personal feelings on this blog.  So many of these blogs seem to be these people with perfect lives and live absolutely happy days.  Well, here's honesty.


This song has been on repeat for me lately.  It brings back feelings of nostalgia (I guess that always happens at the end of a school year remembering high school graduation) and feelings of "I'm happy I'm where I am now".

High school was (and probably still is) rough.  I guess it's pretty safe to say I was apart of the "in" crowd.  However, I always feel slightly alienated, like I was apart of it because no one really knew where I was supposed to fit in. Looking back,  I wish I hadn't put so much pressure on myself to "try" so hard.  I just felt an overwhelming need to be "liked".  High school was a bittersweet time in my life.  I know I will never let myself be that person again.

Ever since, each and every time I talk to a high school kid, I ask, "Where are you going to college?"  And I cringe if I hear, "I don't know if I want to go to school."  I understand some kids have limitations on money or life events.  But seriously, I think I developed more as a person in college than I ever did in high school.  The moment I walked onto campus, I was…me.

Me?  You ask.  Me.  I was free to listen to the music I chose.  Actually freely enjoy the classes that I took.  Talk to people without judgement.  For goodness sake, I could walk down a hallway by myself without getting reprimanded for not waiting for my friends.  My life, was officially my own.

To this day, I see friends on Facebook and only remember them for what I knew in high school.  The hot guy, the pretty girl, the artsy cool guy, the good-at-everything girl, the girl-every-guy-would-do-anything-for.  To this day, I still have labels on them.  Granted, they probably have a label on me.  But this difference between labeling in high school and needing to fit in, and labeling now.  It doesn't matter.  The only place that label is seen, is in my mind. 

Though sometimes "the cool kids" label is refreshed at party's or random life events.  I believe that it's all subjective.  Every one of us is a "cool kid" to someone, and really being cool justifies absolutely nothing.  Being yourself is the most gratifying way to live.

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